


Unspoken

by alllywinchester



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, OC death, Reader Death, Titans, but only at the end, expedition - Freeform, kind of fluff, levi being protective, soft smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alllywinchester/pseuds/alllywinchester
Summary: Levi starts visiting you at night, looking for pleasure.
Relationships: LevixReader, levixfemreader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 83





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so please tell me if there are mistakes in the story.  
> Otherwise thanks for chekin in and have fun! (And don't be angry at me for the end my friends)  
> Btw I don't own Attack on Titan or any of the characters except my own but I'm sure you already knew that.

The first time it happened was in the middle of the night, on the 55th expedition outside the walls.

You've left the walls five days ago. It was your first mission, so it was no surprise your body was shaking the whole time. At first. But you quickly get used to it, to riding all day long, staying up until late in the night to keep watch, fighting against titans.

Not that he would let you fight that much though. Captain Levi liked to have you at his side the whole time, letting the others finish the titans instead.

You were leaning on the massive trunk of a tree, from where you could see the valley beneath you. It's been three hours since you've been set up to keep watch tonight. Any minute now you could finally go to sleep as soon as one of your comrads would replace you.  
You were relieved when he finally swung up beneath you, the gas of his 3D maneuver being the only sound in the darkness. You nodded, then you fired your grapple hooks into the wood and jumped down.

You were exhausted as you tried to tiptoe through the sleeping soldiers, trying to not wake them up. The candle in the only shack in the area was out, so you assumed Commander Erwin finaly got to sleep too. Sometimes you were wondering how sharp his mind was even though he was barely sleeping.

Same goes with Captain Levi.

Just like you had assumed, he was still awake as you reached your sleeping spot next to him. The other members of the team were snoring softly, looking so relaxed. You smiled at them, usually their faces were hard and concentrated. Right now they seemed so innocent.

You nodded at Levi, who was watching you the whole time with his cold eyes. Goose bumps rushed over your body, there was just something in his gaze that made your knees weak every time he looked at you. As wether it was for fear or maybe something else, you couldn't decide yet.

Levi watched you getting out of your equipment so you could sleep. You were well aware of his eyes staring holes into your back, but pretended like it wasn't bothering you. You just sat down next to him, resting your neck against the shack and chin on your chest.

Even though you were tired and just wanted to sleep, something was keeping you awake. No, not something. Someone. You opened your eyes to glare at your Captain, who was still looking at you. His eyes haven't left you since you returned from your watch and it was slowly starting to annoy you.

_What? Do I have something on my face? Did something get stuck in my hair? What is it, you creep?_

"Why are you still staring at me?" Your voice was barely above a whisper. Just because you couldn't sleep, didn't mean you wanted to wake up the others. Also, with the look that Levi had in his eyes at the moment, you were more than confident that right now, it was better that everyone was sleeping.

You've seen this look before, but especially often since you've left the walls. Sleeping under the stars night after night with your comrades only inches apart from you didn't really leave much room for privacy. This look was the look of a man, who hasn't had sexual pleasure for way too long.

Seeing it on Levi, as he literally devoured you with his eyes, took you by surprise. You've never seen even a hint of emotion in them, except maybe anger towards other soldiers or disdain towards the titans. But this, this was something new entirely and you couldn't quite place it yet.

The fact that he pointed this specific look at you, filled your stomach with heat.

Levi didn't bother to answer your question, as he suddenly leaned forward. You didn't even have time to react before his lips hit yours, hard and greedily. You didn't complain though. Maybe you both needed this.

You weren't exchanging a single word as you kissed each other, while slowly peeling your bodies out of your gear and clothes, whick took a while because of all the leather straps that supported your body while using the maneuver.

Levis tongue pushed through your lips and started exploring your mouth. His taste made you light headed, the heat of his tongue only making the one in your stomach worse.  
You both were now only in your underwear. Levi took one of the capes and wrapped them around your bodies, to keep the wind off your skin. Also, the dark color hid your naked bodies in the darkness.

Levi started kissing your jawline and down the soft skin on your neck. You had to bite your knuckle as he started sucking on the skin of your breasts that was just above your bra, so you wouldn't accidentally moan.

Your fingers stroaked through Levi's hair, while his moved to your back and towards the clip of your bra. He glanced up, waiting for your approval. Even in his state, with flushed cheeks and lustblown eyes, he was still a gentleman.  
You nodded and he opened it without any problems. His soft fingers pulled down the straps and the bra eventually fell down. You took it and threw it onto the pile of clothes that was already laying next to you.

Levis lips met yours again as his hands covered your breasts. The touch sent a shiver down your spine and it turned you on. You wanted, no, needed him. Right now.

"Levi, please." There was no voice in your words, it was only air leaving your mouth. But Levi understood. His eyes narrowed at your impatience, but he didn't seem to mind it. Instead he moved his hands towards your panties and pulled them down, then he did the same with his boxers.

He positioned himself between your legs, which you spread willingly, and leant back down to kiss you. While he nibbled on your bottom lip, until you opened your mouth, he started rubbing his body on yours, creating even more tension. Your fingernails left red stripes on his back, which he beared with a hiss, before you placed them into his hair again, pulling him down.

He kissed you one more time, before leaning back, his eyes asking you a silent question. You felt his arousal very clear on your thigh, but didn't dare to look down. Little did he know, that this was only the second time you were so close to someone and you were scared that it would hurt again, like last time. If you saw that he was maybe even bigger, there was a chance you would call everything off.

And you didn't want that. You needed this.

"Fuck me already," You hissed before crashing your lips back together. Your words seemed give Levi the permission he needed. He positioned himself so you were both comfortable, pushing your back against the wall of the shack, then he entered you.

It hurt at first, but it was quickly over and instead replaced by pleasure. Levi was careful, slowly pushing in so he wouldn't hurt you, his eyes locked with yours so he could stop as soon as there was any sight of distress on your face.

But there wasn't, no. On the contrary.

"Move," you told him, desperate to feel him. You didn't have to tell him twice, as he started pulling out and pushing back in again, slowly at first, but accelerating rather quickly.

Waves of pleasure washed over your body as Levi continued thrusting into you. He pressed his lips on yours again, pushing his tongue in and fighting with yours. It was a mess, you could feel saliva dripping from his chin and down your neck, your hands left scratches on his whole body and his thrusts were becoming faster with every second that passed.  
You felt that you were close and tightened the grip on his hair. You were sure it was hurting Levi, but he didn't seem to mind, he even looked like he enjoyed it so you did it again. Softly you pulled on his dark hair and watched as bliss washed over his face.

You kept back the moans that were boiling inside of your stomach, angrily trying to find a way through your throat and escape, but with every thrust of Levis hips it became harder.   
Your stomach was twitching, you felt yourself slowly slipping over the edge. Levi noticed and thrusted even harder now, while still avoiding any sound by doing so. Though you thought his mind was clouded by pleasure just like yours, he was actually still as sharp as usual.

As Levi pushed into you in the exact right angle, it was over for you. Your eyes widened as you came, mouth opening. Levi reacted fast, covering it with one of his hands and muffling the sound that escaped it. Your whole body was twitching as the orgasm hit you like a wave.

Levi pushed a few more times, then he came himself, pulling out at the last second to shoot his cum all over your thigh. He collapsed onto his elbows that were supporting him on your sides, breathing heavily. Your fingers were still in his hair but you have loosened your grip as the exhaustion from your orgasm took over your body.  
In silence, Levi took his ascot and whiped it over your thigh, cleaning up the mess he had made there only a few seconds ago. He quickly slipped back into his clothes and handed over yours too. After putting them back on, you wrapped your cape around your shoulders and leaned back against the wall.

There was no cuddling, no sign of fondness afterwards, you didn't even say a word. But it was okay, you both wanted it that way.  
It wasn't love, no, not even affection. It was only two people, finding bliss in each other in this cruel world. Two soldiers, trying to convince themselves that they're still humans after all that they've done in the last few days. Trying to remind themselves that there's still something inside of them that allowed them to feel something else than hatred and the will to slaughter titans.

Nothing more, nothing less.

You never spoke about it. You continued as if nothing happened, while on your mission. You didn't do it again.

At least not until the 56th expedition outside the walls. You've been outside for almost a week now, as Levi came to you one night. Again, there was no talking, no affectionate words or love confessions. There was only heavy breathing, skin biting, flesh sucking and hair tugging pleasure. He remembered all of your sweet spots, but so did you.

After that he came more often. Some nights you would lay in the grass, your stomach tingling with excitement as you waited for him. It was just a feeling that you had, but it never failed you once since he showed up every time. As soon as you heard his footsteps, light and graceful, it seemed like your heart was ready to jump out of your chest.

Almost every night you and Levi wrapped your cape around your bodies, finding comfort and bliss in each other as every day would get harder and more brutal than the one before.  
But something changed over time. Levis kisses became more passionate, sometimes even gentle. His hands weren't roaming all over your body anymore, but instead touching only your most sensitive spots, trying to make you squirm beneath him.

One night he even allowed you to roll him onto his back and take control.

Some time he started to talk, started whispering your name while thrusting into you. He started praising your body, he allowed you to touch him before he entered you, he even restrained his own pleasure while giving you yours by licking you and using his fingers.

You didn't know where he learned it from, but he was good at it, really good.

You became the perfect duo while fighting off titans and started spending time together not only at night, but also during the day, when the squad stopped riding to rest for a while. It became obvious to anyone but yourselves. It wasn't just giving each other pleasure anymore. It had turned out into more.

By the time you realized that, it was too late. The morning after you woke up in Levis arms for the first time since you've started this, since he had always left as soon as you were done, titans attacked your squad. You were already on your way back home again, only a few hours away from the walls.  
Even though you were in the middle of the formation, they had managed to get all the way towards you and were now chasing you out of it. Without any trees to use the maneuver equipment on, your only chance was to ride as fast as you could.

When you finally reached the woods, you got ready to fight. Pulling out the swords you aimed at the trees and fired your hooks. But while everyone else was already reeled towards them, your feet remained on the saddle of your horse.

"No," You breathed out as you hit the trigger again. It wasn't working. Why wasn't it working?

Levi called out your name. It was the most horrific sound you've ever heard in your entire life. The moment you looked up and saw his eyes that stared down at the scene in front of him in terror, you felt something closing around you. You turned to see the face of a titan, grinning while lifting you up from your horse.

"No!", You screamed and started to fight, trying to cut open his hand so it would release you, but you couldn't move. It was gripping you too tightly.

You felt one of your ribs break, then another one and another one... Behind you, Levi was shouting in rage. You turned to look at him, to cry out for his help, but the other titans were now in between you. Hot, moist air hit the side of your face as the titan that was holding you opened it's mouth.

So what was really how it was supposed to end? After fighting all this time, this was really how you were going to die? Not because you've made a mistake, not because you weren't strong enough, but of the stupid fact that your equipment had failed you?

Your feet were entering the giant mouth of the titan. One last time you could see Levis face in front of your inner eye, how he looked at you with pride in his eyes after you killed your first titan, then it changed into the blissfull look you've seen almost every night, but the last thing you really remembered was the horrified look on his face as the titan had grabbed you.

You felt the weight of it's teeth crashing down on you, breaking your hipbones into splinters. You screamed out in agony, your voice breaking and tears slipping out of the corners of your eyes. Just as you thought it would rip you apart, a green shadow flew by.

Blood splattered everywhere, hitting your cheek but evaporating only seconds after, as the titan fell on it's knees. Something grabbed you and pulled you out of it's wet mouth. You cried out as your crushed hips were moved, biting on your lip, tasting blood.

As you looked up you saw Levi, looking down at you with an unreadable expression on his face. But while usually, it was unreadable because he hid every emotion behind it, this time they were all there at the same time. Fear, anger, guilt, shock, they were all mixing up.

You were set down softly into the grass. Levi stared at you in disbelief, like he was hoping this was all just a dream and he would wake up any second. But as more and more time passed, it slowly became clear to him that this was reality.

Suddenly his expression changed into one of pure rage. His eyes squinted as he jumped to his feet. You watched it with your own eyes as he soared through the air like a black and green whirlwind, cutting flesh out of the titan's necks as if it were butter. Never have you seen someone move this fast, not even he himself had managed to do so in the past. But while Levi was killing every last single titan, you felt your life slowly slipping out of you.

You lifted your hand to see that it was covered in blood. So it wasn't only your bones but also your skin that was teared apart by the titans teeth. Your breath was flat, as you felt your fingers becoming numb. You could do nothing against it, as your hand fell back down into the grass next to you.

Levis cold fury allowed him to finish of the titans in a mere few minutes. Petra was the first one to crouch down next to you, then Eld, Oluo and Gunther. Tears were shimmering in some of their eyes, as they exchanged words. You were too weak to listen to what they were saying.

As a fifth person joined the other four members, they took a step back. You saw it was Levi. He fell on his knees next to your head, his eyes scanning your body and stopping at your squashed hips. Those hips that he used to hold so carefully in his hands were now nothing more than pulp.  
He realized that there was nothing they could do. Even if the blood dripping out of you wouldn't be enough to kill you, the blood filling your insides eventually would before they could get help. You already felt it bloating your stomach.

"Levi," you whispered softly reaching out your fingers. It was the only thing you still had enough strength for. His eyes met yours and you were shocked to see tears in them, as he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. "Don't... cry," you choked out. But not only words but also blood bubbled up your throat.

"Don't you die on me now, you understand? Don't you do that to me after everything we've been through," Levi said, putting his arm under your neck and pulling you towards him so you were resting on his lap.

"Levi, I..." With every word you said, more strength left your body. It took you all you've got to keep your eyes open, let alone to speak.

"No, don't talk right now. You have to save your breath, w-we have to get you to a doctor, right now," Levi said determined, as if they could still help me. "Petra, y-you're gonna take her horse, Gunther, you'll help me carry her and-"

"Captain," Petra's soft voice interrupted him. Levi looked up at her as she slowly shook her head. "It's too late. We can't help her anymore. I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down her cheeks and Gunther quickly pulled her into a hug. She sobbed into his shoulders, having grown fond of you during all the missions you were on together.

"Levi," you whispered again, which made the commander look back down at you. His tears fell down onto your cheeks.

You could barely feel his hands around you, by now even the pain in your abdomen was more of a dull feeling. Your face and lips had turned as white as ash and cold sweat ran down your forehead. You didn't have much time left.

"I know... it wasn't serious... at first," You choked out, blood drooling down the corner of your mouth as you spoke. "I know you... you just needed... my body, not me..."

"That's not true," He whispered. But you wouldn't let him speak, as you felt the rest of your life slowly fading away.

"But you need... to know... that I..." You gulped down the blood. You had to tell him the truth before you died. Only three words. "I... I..."

One last breath escaped your lips. Your eyes kept being fixed on the man above you, on his own grey ones, even though they seemed to be looking rather through than at him now.

You didn't hear Levi crying your name, waiting for you to answer. You didn't see him starting to scream and yell and cry, didn't feel him shaking your body, asking for the words he would never hear out of your mouth. You didn't feel your lifeless body falling back onto the ground as the others pulled him away from you. You didn't see him pulling out his swords, ready to take his own life in grief, neither did you see Gunther knocking him unconscious.

They came back into the formation with your body hanging across the back of your horse. When Levi regained his consciousness, he carried you in his own saddle in front of him, your body resting on the horse's strong neck until they've reached the walls.

Levi buried your body in the garden of your parents empty house. You had always talked about going back there after finishing off the titans. He had remembered that.

"I don't know what you wanted to tell me," Levi said, kneeling in front of your grave. His fingers lay spiritless on the dirt, beneath the flowers he had placed there. "If only I had been faster. Then maybe you would be still here with me. It's my fault. I wasn't fast enough to save you." A stray tear slipped down his cheek as he bit his lip.

"I'm such a coward. Humanity's Strongest Soldier, that's what they call me. But the truth is, I'm the weakest of them all. I'm weak and I'm gutless. I wasn't even strong enough to tell you the truth." His fist glenched as he thought about the words he always wanted to say out loud.

"I never just wanted your body. I never came to you because I was looking for pleasure. You gave me shelter. Shelter from all the pain, hatred and violence out there. You showed me that there was more to living than just surviving. I thought that..." He gulped, blinking away the tears that tried to break free.   
"I-I thought that maybe when all this is over... we could move into a house together. Start a family together. Live our lives in freedom until we're old and gray." He started sobbing violently, his whole body shaking in pain.

"I really believed we could do it. I believed in fighting off the titans once and for all, in being able to live freely outside of these walls. And all because of you. You gave me a reason to fight for."

"But I never told you all this because I'm such a coward. I hate myself for it. If it hadn't been for Gunther, I would've killed myself back there just so I could be with you. Because truth is... I... I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist. I want to see your smile again, I want to feel your hands in my hair again, I want to hear you laugh and make jokes about me cleaning everything again, I just... I want you back." His lungs were burning from sobbing and talking and panting for breath at the same time. He bit his lip, trying to focus.

"But there's one thing I regret even more than not saving you. I never told you that I... that I love you. I've loved you from the first day we met and I still do. I will always love you. And that's the reason why I'm going to stay strong. I'm going to slaughter every last one of them, until there are none of them left. I promise you, you didn't die for nothing."

He stood up from your grave. With new found strength he reached up, whiping the tears away that had streamed down his cheeks, as his body straightened.

"You will forever be my reason to fight, as long as I live. And maybe some day, I will see you again. Hopefully it won't even be that long." A sad smile tucked at his lips. "Rest easy now. I love you."

With that Levi turned around. He got back up on his horse and joined his squad, who were waiting for him at the end of the hill. They left behind the ghost town that used to be your home before the titans intruded.

None of them knew, that Levi was not the man he was before. He had left this one behind at your grave and would never take him back until the day that he died. In the coming years, he fought off every single titan that had crossed his path. He had become cold, even colder than before. Because the light that used to spark up his soul was gone, it had left the moment you took your last breath.

One day he would return to you. He was excited for this day and even though he kind of hoped to die in every battle he fought so it would come sooner, he never broke his promise. He would fight until the very end.

But of course, you never witnessed any of that. You were waiting patiently. Waiting and hoping that some day, the man you've left behind would come back to you, so you could finally say those three words you never got to tell him.


End file.
